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Sometimes, for whatever reason, we lose touch. We don’t just lose touch with friends, family, and each other; we also lose touch with ourselves. We lose touch with reality. Our jobs, our cars, our personal agendas all take on the roll of the intangible delicacies of life, and we forget that these things will never love us back. We forget what is important in life.
My college dorm mate and I had an interesting two years living together, probably because we were the two most opposite people that could have shared a living space. Not just a living space, but two desks, two dressers, two beds, and all contents belonging to two individuals crammed into what felt like a 4×8 cement cell. Dorm style living is never glamorous, especially when it is forced upon you for two years by your university.
Dorm living sucked.
Can I get an AMEN?
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He was there adoring her smile & conversations. Partaking long rides, small walks, dinners at auntie’s place to each and every goodbye, he cherished those moments. It was charming the relation they shared- from the unending talks to combined studies, they tried spending more and more time together- Every hug was indisputable, every touch was pensive – every tear was heart breaking & every smile was a treasure. Be it mountaineering or reading thoughts of each other, they were unpretentious & honest. Going back to that time he thinks that they lacked little bit of maturity & had more of an obsession – but how can you measure the differences between the two- Like-ability & care it was which stood tall above the boundaries of a formal relation. True friendship it was with the flavor of little curiosity, genuine love, desires of adolescence, belongings and charming care. It was the time when a hug was more than enough to tackle the affection and relieve the bothering heart. It was the time to be cherished. The last hold is still fresh; the last moment is still so pleasing.
Life is not like a romantic story or a romantic song which has a lovely ending. But it’s more like the beautiful melody which emerges out of the presence and vanishes as we isolate, as we say good-bye and miss that existence.
He closes his eyes while he writes this & asks himself about the unanswered questions trapping his mind. He had no intent behind doing things he did, as he still don’t know the reason why the friction still exists- a few misunderstandings, a little mistaken words had twisted the gloomy shade which disconnected them. Why he asks? Without being judgmental he says ‘why she didn’t take a little step to make him realize the agony & distress she was going through. The separation never occurred because of fights or distance – because these are the substances of existence. She blamed him for his shortened amount of time. ‘You are so rude and mean’ she said belligerently, with a silver tear flowing down from her vibrant eyes- she was hurt & he could sense that- he tried his best to make sure that she’s alright but was taken aback when he was not welcomed in her time. Communication was the problem even before and after Phones, emails; messages took the death toll- some brewed up with guilty, some with ravaged anger, some with memories & some with new start flowed, but it wasn’t enough to make a hole on the wall her hurt heart brought in between. He never loved anyone like that again, he never shared his thoughts like that anymore with anyone again he was a tough soul as he lived but he knows it took her time to find herself out again. He contemplates he didn’t deserved the hatred she passed on him. ‘It feels sick when someone hates you so bad that they won’t reply to you, it hurts more when it’s the one who was your companion’.